Very Important To Do:

1. be more optimistic
2. begin each day with bright eyes & yoga
3. never be short tempered with joshua
4. read all books
5. find another job as soon as possible
6. when no. 5 is completed, save all money for college
7. when no. 6 is completed, go to business school
8. never pretend that you don't know what you want
9. never watch television because you are bored
10. appreciate
11. learn french
12. do more laundry
13. be more cleanly
14. smile. be kind
15. when no. 1-15 are completed get a passport
16. when no. 15 is completed move across the atlantic.



my macbook is terribly confused and does not know where its hard-drive is located.
i caught an awful cold in chicago that my body cannot shake off.
i begin tomorrow. this is a new leaf.
i will no longer sit back and let myself do nothing.

i honestly feel like life is continually shoving metal down my throat. my body just cannot digest that sort of thing.

number one on my list of things "to do" today was fill out and bring in my Nuvo application. so, i'm on their website reading about, starting to fill out my application for financial aid, flipping from the fasfa page to the nuvo page, when i scroll down and read the fine print. "please enclose $115 for your registration fee." wonderful. thats my entire bank account and i'm going to chicago in three days. honestly, i would rather not even go anymore. its so expensive and stressful. we don't even know if we have a way there anymore. too bad i already spent forty dollars on a ticket.

if only i had a real job i could just go to booker as planned.

ugh. why oh WHY doesn't booker offer financial aid anymore?

am i just destined to never have any college degree?

certainly, it is possible to do what i want to do in my life without a degree, but it would be so helpful to have a REAL job while saving up to create my dream job.

funny that i call it my dream job. i've been having these dreams of this little coffee shop called "the generational cafe". i think the building that the cafe is in is called the generational, though. its very cozy inside and the coffee is always spiced with cinnamon just the way i like it.

joshua and i got into a conversation last night about how i always complain and never do anything about it. i think he is most definitely correct. i, however, tend to not be capable of fixing the things that i complain about most. i must have a mental block or something.

anyway. i'm done complaining. sorry thats all i really use my blog for ever.

time to do things that i've got to do.

... two hours later.

still, nothing.

i just don't understand.

well, actually, maybe i do:

i'm a difficult person.

The Coso Artifact

"While mineral hunting in the mountains of California near Olancha during the winter of 1961, Wallace Lane, Virginia Maxey and Mike Mikesell found a rock, among many others, that they thought was a geode - a good addition for their gem shop. Upon cutting it open, however, Mikesell found an object inside that seemed to be made of white porcelain. In the center was a shaft of shiny metal. Experts estimated that it should have taken about 500,000 years for this fossil-encrusted nodule to form, yet the object inside was obviously of sophisticated human manufacture. Further investigation revealed that the porcelain was surround by a hexagonal casing, and an x-ray revealed a tiny spring at one end. Some who have examined the evidence say it looks very much like a modern-day spark plug. How did it get inside a 500,000-year-old rock?"

source: www.ancientx.com

sweet, mike mikesell is totally my ancestor.

i really need

i really need to get organized. this is similar to a "to-do" list, but more of a "to-organize" list.

1. my life, since i often feel as though i'm going no where and i hate it.

2. my clothing, since i often feel as though i have nothing to wear and too many clothes

3. the things in my room ( really i should just put them in boxes )

4. my fabric ( scraps from sheets plain from prints etc. )

5. my entire room since it feels as though a hurricane has gone through

6. boxes i have yet to even unpack that are filled with useless things

7. memorabilia "pack rat" type things that i cannot force myself to get rid of

my mother has asked me to clean the house for her tomorrow.

hopefully i will do all of these things as well.

i've missed the view into

last week the view from the ruddiman creek bridge looked like this:

it was a lovely but cold day, that day with joshua and alyssa. a short little walk before alyssa and myself had to go into work. nothing went on friday. saturday was really fun however, stressful. this weekend, we take a break.

today, joshua and i went on a walk to visit alyssa at work. such a beautiful, bright, and sunny day.

this week, the view from the bridge has become warmer and redder. so lovely. i love the changing leaves.

the smell of dead leaves and rain

i often forget that i even have a blog to write in.

this past weekend was fantastic and this week has gone by quickly enough for it to be the weekend already again. today i drink coffee, hang out with alyssa, and go to work. tomorrow i go to my aunt's birthday party and to grand rapids once again.

its strange how much more excellent a place seems once you've moved away from it.