seek and you shall find

tiered of trying to make blogger do what i want it to.

found my cord.

i think tumblr wins.

terrible

i cannot find my camera cord.

on a brighter note, valueland had a 50% off sale a few days ago and i got some great nik-nacks.

today, joshua and i went to rescued treasures and i bought a gorgeous teared table. it is small and has some water damage on the top but the wood work was much too beautiful to pass up. joshua bought a four dollar type writer that is worth about a hundred. he wants to sell it on ebay, but i think he should wait until he gets his old writer working again.

also, i'm writing this from my macbook, which means that i finally broke down and bought a new cord for it. i'm very happy that i happened to wipe it before the cord broke. its a clean slate. new leaf. however you want to put it, i think that it is fantastic. rediscovery is so beautiful to me.

another dark note: i'm not sure if i'll be able to attend booker this fall.

i had planned pretty much my whole life around a student loan that no longer exists.

i have no way to pay for the college that i want to go to. its too late to sign up for community, not that i really want to go to community anyway. its just like highschool only further away.

i am getting terribly anxious to get up and going again. i feel like my life has been on pause this summer and i think thursday will be a nice slap in the face. twenty will wake me up from this dreamy-sleep-state that i've been stuck in.

today while at rescued treasures, an old woman asked if joshua and i were married. we laughed and told her that we might as well be. ever since i was a child i told myself that i was not going to get married until twenty six, or maybe thats what my papa told me. its the same difference, either way. however, lately i've felt as though i could be ready to be a true "grown up" before twenty six. i want my own beautiful apartment that my beautiful furniture can spread out in and "stretch their legs" so to say. i want open spaces and windows and sunlight and candle light and dinner parties and to play chess at night and do yoga in the morning and drink a cup of coffee from our new french press in my bright kitchen that looks out over a vast city landscape flowing and moving, even the streets practically breathing with their own life.

my bedroom has become dim, damp, and drab. everyday when i try to get dressed my clothes feel sticky on my body whether they are clean or not. my bed feels as though its been rained on. the clutter makes me want to pull my hair out.

joshua brought me home a frank sinatra record today. too bad i do not have a record player to play it on. i need to make a reasonable wish list.

i need to pay for college first.

too bad i don't have a grand lying around for a down payment.

i've been sewing little creatures lately. a few days ago i made a kitty with a lovely floral tea-time dress and a big lace bow-tie. the other day i began on an elephant with hopes of her being able to stand on all fours and be rode by another creature. she is not finished, but tomorrow is sunday which is always a great day to finish up projects.

i'd like to make a few really big creature-pillows for the couch that i do not have.

i'd like to invest in a love seat.

i really need to stop thinking so ahead in such silly ways.

i really need to think ahead in logical ways such as thinking of how i'm going to go to college.

to do:

1. sunday- finish elephant

2. monday- call nuvo for loan / grant information

3. tuesday- clean bedroom

4. wednesday- meet with ms. booker

5. thursday- turn twenty

6. friday- work. dance in grand rapids

7. saturday- work

8. sunday- work

9. monday- icecream with family for birthday

somewhere in there i should find a way to call my father.

he doesn't even know that i moved back home, i don't think.

el waterford

I really wish that i would have taken pictures in east lansing during our ouija bored experience in the park. however, i didn't.

private beach.

Saturday night Alyssa and Kalie came over to m

y house with the offer of a bonfire on a neighborhood private beach. The idea sounded splendid. but, of course, there is always

at least one problem: none of us have a car. so, with s

pur of the moment genius, i asked my little brother's friend to give us a ride.

The bonfire was cozy and nice. a few people played guitar while alyssa, kalie, and i sang along.

we ended up staying out until six or so in the morning before we went back to evan's house. i

drove to bk to get everyone some spicychickensmadelikewopper

and myself some fries. the house was big, beautiful, and absolutely empty so it was really fun to run around in.

in the morning we woke up early and came home.

joshua and i made breakfast following it quickly by some pineapple pizza to suck up our hangovers.

afterwards, we laid around until five when we decided it would be a great idea to go visit alyssa at ghezzi's. polish roses and jones soda mmm. i hung around with her for a little bit and asked questions

about booze and cigars until i realized that i could get her in trouble for staying there so long. road back home, watched brick, followed by witches of eastwick, and then went to bed.

today i go to east lansing.

tomorrow waterford.

also, i think my toenail is going to fall off pretty soon.

gross, huh?

Simple Fix

Last evening, after creating this blog, i made a weak attempt at going to sleep. However, i was all jittery from drinking too much coffee too late in the evening and absolutely had to do something with myself. I looked around my room at all of the clothes that i always intend to "do something" with and decided that i should actually start / finish a few.

Sometime this past week i picked up a pair of old Levi's from the Rescue Mission up the road from my house. They fit me perfectly in the waist but not so much in the legs (i basically have spaghetti-noodle legs). A simple alteration and a quick snip of the length and my 80's Levi jeans have turned into a pair of high waisted shorts!

In addition to the shorts, (which i realize i'm probably a little bit too exited about) i made some simple changes to a plaid h&m dress that i own. I never liked the straps much because they were so thick, so i cut the straps off and made them into little bows to attach to the front of the dress.

Finally, i took a dress from f21 that pretty much looked like a slutty clubbing dress and made it into a romper. i look forward to wearing it on a bike-ride because its now super comfortable.

Anyway, i should probably go play disc with joshua before he goes crazy and i have to leave for work.

farewell, blog.

oh, by the way.

i'm caitria and i live in a feculence hole.
hopefully, tomorrow will be great.

i hate where i live.

Today, (as in the last hour and fifteen minutes) i have truely come to terms with what a tiresome, characterless, nothing & nowhere place muskegon michigan really is.

I left my place of work (The Harbour Towne Yacht Club) at 8:47 this evening with eight dollars and sixty three cents to my name. Truly, i believed that this would be enough money to allow me to do something even mildly exiting and entertaining. just as many human beings do i thought to myself "hell yeah, its friday night. tgif blablabla". however, (and i could blame this on my lack of cellular device, but i won't) i was unable to find a single thing to do. I professed my desire for company via facebookstatus got one reply from someone i don't really even know, which was deleted shortly after being posted. The few friends i could get ahold of were either at somebody's house who i don't really care for or tired and at home.

At least i can say "Thank the Heavens for Joshua Crocker & Pablo's Tacos".
Around midnight josh and myself got fed up with the inevitable failure and discussed our options. The only thing that was even open in the entire of muskegon was Pablo's. I had to admit that i wasn't really in the mood for taco's let alone food in general; i just wanted coffee. Once again, Thank the Heavens because Pablo's not only has coffee, but has really delicious coffee for a mexican food resteraunt.

Back to muskegon being a shithole:
In this next week i am going to do every little thing that there is in my power to sign up for and have paid for school so that i might leave this town with a "skill under my belt" (as my father says) and be able to go onto bigger and better things and places.



Whoever chooses to stay here their whole life has got to be mentally insane.